This next rule caused me to stop and to think about what TJ is telling us. Honestly, I had no idea. This led me to do some extra research. Exhausted after reading a zillion commentaries and this is what I found…..
8. Take things always by the smooth handle.
This little rule was stated by TJ in efforts to produce peace, harmony, and consolation. Apparently, wise old TJ did not like to argue.
To argue for or against a stand, a purpose or a point worth arguing over will eventually lead to someone being hurt. Whether or not it is a physical hurt or an emotional hurt, someone always loses in an argument and feels defeated. I mean let’s face it. When we argue our point, the augment isn’t over until someone is “right.” Or at least someone feels as if the have gotten the last word in and therefore is deemed “right.” Someone will lose causing a strain in a relationship.
Jesus teaches us to love and respect one another. “Love one another as I have loved you.” So why do we argue? Why is it that we get our tail feathers ruffled? God wants us to have loving relationships with one another so why do we seek to be right all the time? Why don’t we just agree to disagree on matters. Turn the other cheek, possibly? Have you ever argued with a smug “I know I’m right so I will let them argue their point then I will calmly nail them to the wall” person? I have and that is the worst kind of argument. They sit there until I get so angry I ready to hit them…. then the smug…… OHHHHHH See I’ve been hurt! Ouch, should have listened to TJ’s advice.
When we argue, we lose sight of the Jesus kind of love. We end up angry at others and sometimes ourselves. Ultimately, losing a relationship or tainting one beyond the repair of trust because we don’t want to be burned again.
Wouldn’t it be easier just to listen long and to not open our opinionated mouths. I have a long way to go on this rule. See, I like to argue. I am a freak in nature I guess. I like to debate. But I hate to lose friendships. So if I lose a friendship, am I really winning an argument? Ponder on that one.
So this year, I am going to stop arguing as much. I will put my debating on the back burners and listen to the others without being smug and pouncing on them in the end. I will turn the other cheek and will stop arguements before they get heated and someone ending up hurt.