Learning……

Opening a business is hard.  I ain’t gonna lie.  And well….. God has a way of building lessons to learn in just about anything.

I have left my dream job at the library.  I am now working full time at the bakery location.  To be honest, I don’t think I have ever worked this hard.  There are so many aspects to opening a business that my head hurts, and my back, and my knees, and my hands, and yes, even my heart.

I know.  I know.  Shocking….. God has given me a gift and I say my heart hurts.  I should be thankful.  And I am…… but whew….. I am overwhelmed.

For two weeks, I have been pulled in so many directions.  Bureaucratic run-arounds left me dizzy.  Finding electricians, plumbers and equipment has put a strain on me…..   I’ve learned a lot about the health department codes.  146 pages of them……  And I thought Leviticus was a long list of do’s and don’ts.  At times, I have wanted to scream, kick, and cry.

In fact just a couple of days ago, I finally got to talk to a person at the health department.  I had a zillion questions that well…… just didn’t seem to find answers within those 146 pages.  I spent almost 30 minutes picking this poor man’s brain.  I bet he thought, “Hope she bakes better than understanding all these rules.”

I had gotten all caught up in one-more-problem-oh-no-now-what-am-I-gonna-do “Eeyeor” way of thinking.  Everyone….. salesmen, plumbers, electricians, and even people off the street had a solution.  I was allowing all of that to overshadow the peace God had once provided. With every “Can’t do it that way,”  “Ain’t gonna work,” “No,” “Nope,” “Gotta do it this way or that way,” that peace had been chipped away and now I find myself wondering if I really was cut out to do this……

I started snipping at family.  Snapping sarcasm left and right.  And yes, even throwing a fit or two.

Then Sunday morning, our pastor preached on Abraham’s request to leave everything behind and go to this place God wanted him to go.  He left everything that kept him feeling safe and secure.  His daily routine had been shaken up and turned completely upside down.  He trusted God enough to follow Him into the unknown.  Abraham had to learn how to fully trust God’s plan.  Yes, like most of us, Abraham took matters into his own hands when he didn’t wait on God.  But he finally learned the value in trusting God.

I sat there in my safe and secure seat and thought, “Wow, I am like Abraham.  God has given me a bakery.  And I am leaving my safety and security behind.  I am learning to live outside that comfort zone.  Once again, that peace came through and melted those troubles away.

In the end I discovered……..It isn’t a matter of learning……. but a matter of leaning.

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