Denying it is so much easier.
Ignoring it has the same result.
Am I ill? No. Well, maybe in the head but that can be argued for another time.
I have questioned God with this decision ever since I heard. The Arkansas Conference followed God’s instruction to send our Pastor and family elsewhere.
But, I can’t just send him off without some kind of personal acknowledgement. See, in the four years he and his family have been with us, healing changed me.
Yes, healing. I am not the same person I was 4 years ago. Brother Stephen and his sweet wife, Leila have played an important role in that healing.
I was a wreck 4 years ago. Bitter filled. Wanting revenge. Angry like no bird could imagine to be. Ready to explode or implode….. both of which are extremely unhealthy. My rage turned to behavior I am so embarrassed to admit having……
I thought my spirit was crushed and damaged forever. I didn’t have strength nor the will to even attend church anymore. Leila befriended me and listened to my story. She didn’t judge. She didn’t do anything more than listen as I unraveled the hurt, betrayal and distrust in my role as a member of our church.
Meanwhile, Brother Stephen taught. He encouraged me to dig deeper than I ever had. He stretched my thinking to a whole other level. He never once told me what to do but let me figure out the mess I had managed to create on my own.
Outside of blogging, I had pretty much left ministry. Well, let’s be honest. I might have been blogging but the ministry had left my heart. I was going through the motions. I didn’t believe half the words I was typing.
But as Stephen taught, my heart began to listen. I followed a path that God laid before me. The Bakery. If it wasn’t for Stephen and Leila’s example of being obedient and teachable moments, I would have ignored God and continued to do what I had been doing…… creating a mess.
Now, the time has come for me to say farewell to two people that has taught me so much. As much as I hate it. I understand that obedience is the key no matter if we don’t get why it has to happen. That’s part of being a Christ follower. We have to follow.
A new chapter is about to begin for all of us.
Stephen. Leila. May God bless you both. Thank you so much for everything you have done in service with me/for me and our church family. It has been an honor. And the biggest blessing ever.