Ever had trouble coming up with an answer? You are posed a question that takes you off guard and you kinda “get through” the answer. Then minutes after the conversation is over you come up with the best answer. Sometimes, I wish I could just push pause and come up with the perfect answer so when I push play again so I don’t look like a bumbling idiot.
Ever? Just me?
I was asked a pretty theological question……. that I should have been able to just spat out my answer without any trouble, but no……. I clearly left the recipient of my answer scratching his head and wondering why in the world I would even consider lay speaking. (He will be kind and I will probably receive an email stating that I wasn’t as foolish as I thought, but you guys know when I say I sounded idiotic most likely I did–or who knows he just might agree with me.)
It really wasn’t a hard question. It just kinda left me thinking…… how should I answer this without sounding crazy.
So how is your soul?
uhhhhh…… mmmmm….. good? may I add here–why on earth did I make good into a question? This guy has no idea how to that. See I told you……so let’s see what else I say…..
ummmmm……. well…… been in a funk…… really? Who in her right mind uses that 80’s term? Oh, wait, yours truly…… sigh….. I should just bury my head and never be seen in 2017….. honestly, Funk? Should have at least added the “totally” and “like” terminology.
Of course the “funk” word made the guy just ask…… A funk? Really? Please tell me more.
After mentally coming out from under the table, I didn’t know how to proceed. I just muddled my way through some kind of answer.
Of course, three days later, I have an answer. A really good one too! Because my “funk” statement got me to thinking about how I should define the said funk. My funky condition isn’t all related to recent events in my life……. recent means all the negative stuff that has happened in the past….. oh I don’t know 40 years…….
So here’s when I rewind the tape to answer the question— How is your soul?
Yet Holding Strong.
So much better than “Funk.” Go ahead and agree….. I will wait.
See life has happened. Satan has thrown so much my way. And at first, I was diving into God’s word and in prayer. I was so anointed that I could handle anything. But like a piece of metal left exposed to the weather, the toils of life began to show. Rusty.
Over time that exposure got into the cracks and crevices. And once that began, I did the most human thing. Looked to myself for answers, self help, and discovery. Ahem…… Weathered. Weakened. Yes, the journey I held close to my heart was weakened. I lost faith if I should dare to say. I looked around and saw nothing worth being grateful for……. shocked? Don’t be. I am being completely honest here. I was shutting everything that once brought me peace completely out. I stopped writing. And for me to stop writing, it was as if I had stopped truly living. I stopped reading God’s word. So I stopped breathing. I stopped praying. I had literally hung up on God. I changed my number.
That was then……
I am rusty. I am weathered. I have been weakened. But, I am not a hopeless case. Nope.
Recently, I have been easing myself back into the fully anointed place. My rusty weathered self may be a little weakened by life but I am still holding strong. It just adds character….. and if watching all those “Fixer Upper” episodes have taught me one thing…… Rust is the new chic and the weathered is good character!