In 2014, my best friend passed away. She was being treated for lung cancer. Her faith and mine were strong that she would overcome this horrible cancer. She had so much in her favor–finding it early, chemo shrinking the small tumor, otherwise she was strong and healthy. But most of all she had the power of prayer. Everyone was praying: our church family, Pam, her family as well as me and my family. We even laid hands on her in church.
My personal prayer was simple: Don’t let the cancer take her. Heal her.
God answered my prayer. The cancer didn’t take her but a seizure and a fall ending in a broken neck did. He healed her with a heavenly healing instead of the earthly.
A “Loop Hole” is what I have coined it–which after a lot of soul searching was the first brick laid in the foundation of my bitter brick wall.
My intent this morning was to blog about bread and Jesus being the Bread of Life. I have been experimenting with a refrigerated dough and have been inspired. But then I Googled bread bible verses and found this:
You parents–if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Matthew 7:9
It kinda just leaped off the screen. I scrolled through so many verses but this one stuck. I knew it was a message. At first, I read it thinking it was a verse about giving the best to those who love and know you. However, I like always went to commentaries to find the meaning.
My findings floored me.
One commentary explained that in biblical times often bread looks like a stone. Round in shape, the color often tan to a grey or a darken brownish black, and depending on the bake can be hard as stone. Obviously bread is good for you and should be consumed. Unlike the counterpart of the verse.
After studying my photo of my bread I made the other night, I can see the stone resemblance.
Trust me I would rather eat the bread than a stone. It was delicious by the way.
You parents–if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Matthew 7:9
You parents– as a parent I want what is best for my children. Often times enough they don’t realize or want to accept my answer to their request is exactly what is best for them. God, being the parent, in this verse, is doing just that–He is given a request and He responds with bread (what is good for them) versus a stone (a mockery).
So this left me this morning thinking–in my prayer for Pam was I given the bread or a mockery?
Now, I know what you are thinking–Regina, why would you think God would every give a mockery? Terrible thought isn’t it. But again, I have placed God in the hot seat for the loop hole for a few years now. So this attitude doesn’t surprise me a bit.
Then it hit me like a stone–
My request wasn’t for me OR was it? Originally, it was 100% for Pam; but I somehow twisted it to be for me. I made the mockery out of God’s response to my prayer FOR Pam. Pam didn’t have to suffer the ugliness of lung cancer. She was healed. She has been given a new body with no pain. She is in the presence of our Lord. Her death overcame the hideousness the earthly life endures.
Stunned in my thoughts……. God gave me the answer that was best for Pam not what I selfishly wanted. I just need to accept the fact that it wasn’t about me at all.
Well, I think the foundation of the old bitter brick wall has been shaken and is beginning to crumble.
Praise God!!
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