Ever caught yourself telling the kids, “I’ve said it a zillion times and I am not telling you again!” When your words are playing like a broken record and no one is listening……frustrating isn’t it??
In the Deaf world, they simply sign “Train, Gone, Bye-Bye.” Its meaning: “You’ve missed the train.” It is used to denote that the signer will not repeat himself again. Too Bad. So Sad. You missed the train.
I must confess. I feel God telling me just that. I woke up the other night knowing that God was calling. He had something to tell me. And I chose to not go to Him. I wanted to slumber. Not one of my finer moments.
I shunned God.
I feel horrible.
I’ve walked around disconnected, guilty, and heavy at heart ever since. I’ve prayed. I know God is there. How many times must He ask me to come and I shun before His response is “Train Gone Bye Bye”? I could have missed an opportunity to spread His love. I could have missed my next step. I could have missed a lot. I could? No I did……
Now, that one act of disobedience has led to another. I missed another opportunity last night. I had intentions and messed it up….. Again.
I allowed the disconnection to gain distance. The guilt and shame prevents me to want God’s presence. Now, I know how Adam and Eve felt. This morning, I have walked around dreading to post. Again shame and guilt are the ringleaders.
I know what I must do.
Lord, You are my creator. You are the most Holy. You are my Redeemer and Savior. Lord, You spoke of the sluggard in Proverbs who chose slumber. His need for slumber made him spiritually poor. Father, I chose slumber. I did not listen. I missed the opportunity to spend time with You. I chose to sleep over listening to Your wisdom and guidance. My soul is covered in guilt and shame just like Adam and Eve covered themselves before you. Lord, I ask for your mercy and forgiveness. I ask that You seek for me again. Lord, change my “want to”. I want to follow hard after You. I want to listen to You. I want to do Your work. Slumber isn’t what I want nor need. Lord, please forgive me. This distance I have placed between us is killing me. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. I want You. I want to feel Your presence Lord. Please Lord, forgive me. Draw me clsoe and love me. Amen
I feel better. I feel God’s presence. I am ready to listen. So I must go…..
But before I go…. Here’s today’s list.
1. God’s forgiveness
2. God’s mercy
4. Clothes to wash
5. A home to keep
6. A car to drive
7. Crocheted sweaters
8. Fred’s thunder booming snores
9. Ginger’s impatience
10. Breakfast with my family
Bet you thought I forgot…… My darling son drew the name of the winner of Ann Voskamp’s book and the Advent wreath. Debbie is the winner! Congrats! I will be contacting you today in order to get your prizes to you.
Awwwww….. not to worry. I will be having another give-away real soon!
Enjoy this Tuesday. God bless……