I pulled out the pity party hats the other night. I cried. I whined. I shared with my dear sweet hubby. I cried some more. Then I did the worst thing possible…shut out God. I was busy licking my wounds and to be honest, I didn’t want to be bothered. Sad attitude to have.. huh? God wanted some quiet time and I wanted to wallow in my pity party dress. Sorta like the song.. “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to..”
Basically, I was doing some math. See, a couple of summers ago, I attended the She Speaks Conference. I was on the speaker’s tract and had to give a couple of short speeches. I did remarkably well for a rookie. In fact, several of the ladies in my group came to me and said, “God has great plans for you,” and “God will have you up on a big stage one day.” Daydreaming commenced. Never thought about a big stage before.. Well, have you know that planted a seed.
So fast forward to now..
I’m still a long way from reaching the daydreams. And the other night, I read that it had taken Lysa Terkeurst 17 years to get where she is now. To add to the misery, I was reminded that it has been a 25 year journey for Beth Moore. Ahem… told you daydreams! I began to add up the numbers 41+17=58 and 41+25=66. Silly I know… but all I could think of was wheelchairs and walkers. So, I just sat there crying.
Now add on writer’s block…
Ahem… yep, party streamers were coming out..pity party time!
So after a little alone time and a great talk with Mark, I finally went to God. I laid it all out there. As I sat quietly, I felt things stirring..
I am a child of God.
I trust God.
Why question the peace?
How many “spring chickens” are in the Bible that people looked up to and God entrusted?
God doesn’t put an age limit on anything..ahem Regina, this is God’s plan, not yours.
When did you actually ask God what to write about?
And then there it was..God revealed the reason for the block.
Then louder than thunder, “Trust and Obey” rang through me.
Insecurities fell to the side. I put away the streamers and party hats. I praised God and thanked Him for the wisdom and advice. I even forgot numbers, the blank calendar, and no calls. I only thought about “Trust and Obey.”
I hate it when I allow my “humanness” to rule. It is when I shut out the Holy Spirit that I forget who is really in charge. When I let human standards be the determining factor of success, I get lost. God’s approval rate should be my goal. So, again, another lesson learned..Trust and Obey.
Enjoy your Thursday… God bless..