Giving and Gaining

This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.  1 Corinthians 1:25

I read that last night.  It really made me sit and think.  Never thought about it quite that way.  But it make sense.

Oh and how many times I mapped out the wisest plan!  Only to find myself totally without control and losing my mind.  And of course, I always think I am such a strong woman…… ahem, only to find myself in a corner somewhere sobbing (the snot running down your face kind) and feeling totally helpless.

Over the past couple of weeks, my neighbors on either side of my bakery site have proven to be such a wonderful resource and support.  They have cheered me on, lent me a helping hand, and got me in touch with an electrician and a plumber.  The electrician reminds me of Mr. Walton on the Waltons 70’s TV series.  Handy.  Helpful.  And sweet.  The plumber looks as if he has just walked off the set of Duck Dynasty.  A hoot to say the least.

Well, I don’t know if it was the fear of hearing bad news or what……but I just couldn’t make myself call them to come out and work.  I was truly having anxiety.  I begged Mark to call.  He was at work and was swamped so he wasn’t able.  I plead my case to Daddy and well……  I should have known……  I was always the one ordering pizza as a kid.  Daddy just told me to do it.  Ugh!

Then, I guess the anxiety got the best of me.  I got snappy at Daddy.  He was trying to point out the reasons I needed to wait on the health department’s approval before I made the call.  My floor plan made absolutely the most sense and well…… I saw no reason why they should turn it down.  I didn’t want to wait any longer but I didn’t want to make the call either.

Helplessness engulfed me.  I wanted to throw in the towel or at least throw up my hands and walk away.  I wanted to run away and have a melt down.  I really just wanted to throw myself down on the floor and have a fit like I did when I was little trying to get my way.  Not a very pretty sight.

Well, I marched off to my office like a spoiled rotten little girl.  I sat down and allowed the helplessness and the powerlessness wash over me.  I was tired.  Cranky.  And wanted to run away.  The perfect mental state for Satan to ease right in and do his dirty work.

My pastor’s sermon on trust resounded in my head.  I’m sure Abraham felt the same way when God asked him to sacrifice his son.  Oh imagine the powerlessness he felt.  I bet his human heart and mind wrestled with anxiety and helplessness.  But he didn’t rely on his plan or emotions….. nope he trusted God.

Daddy said he was going to the store for batteries.  I waved him goodbye and laid my head down on my desk.  I said, “I can’t do this God.  I’m not made for this. I just don’t know what to do.”  And I cried.

Just as I wiped away the tears, the doorbell to the bakery went off.  In walks the electrician!  He comes in and takes a look.  Then plans to come back later this week.  It wasn’t more than an hour later when the plumber walks in and out doing the same thing.  THEN…. the health department calls…..everything looks great!

I gave up my power and control.  God took over and got results.  I found strength alright…. in God’s trust.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s